Mute
by DinoChao
Summary: Madeline never saw the point in friends. She never has a reason to talk. But when she moves in with her brother and goes to a different school for the "below average" students, she'll learn that her voice plays a key role in her new home. Summary sucks. Fem!Canada PrussiaxCanada Rated T for language and self harm in later chapters.
1. New Home

Maddie looked up at the yellow house she would now call home. A small white fence edged the yard, and beautiful flowers ranging in different colors we're planted around. She looked down, walking up the brick pathway to the door. Sighing, she run the doorbell and forced herself to look up. The door opened, revealing a teenage boy wearing blue skinny jeans and a blue shirt. He would be considered cute—if it wasn't her brother. He smiles widely. "You're here!" he says, pointing out the obvious, "I was worried you got lost or something, heh." He grabs her few bags and motions her to come in.

Inside, the house is painted a simple white. The teenage boy walks to the hall way and turns left, opening the door. "I'm glad you're finally here. School is about to start so mom wanted you to hurry and move in. I mean, she wants your high school diploma to be at a not-run-down-school, so I guess you'd have to hurry anyways—," He begins, but stops, "Oh, but you already know that." She half smiles and shrugs. "Still not talking, huh?" He asks with a sad laugh, "It's fine. I know that you're just naturally quiet. But if you need anything, just tell me."

He puts her stuff on the purple bed. "This is, obviously, your room," he says turning around, "And this is your bed… and that's your closet… oh, and the bathroom is to your left when you leave the room. You'll know where everything is. Nothing is really off limits. I mean, I don't want you to like, trash my house or something, but… you know…" His voice trails off. He turns to the small girl. "Now give your Alfred a hug!" He laughs, holding out his hands. She follows his commands and hugs him tightly.

After she let's go, he smiles and leaves, letting her get settled in her new home. The dirty blonde haired girl begins to unpack, putting her clothes in the closet and dresser. It wasn't her choice to be here. Her mother just assumed that she wanted to leave her small home town in Canada and move in with her bro. Of course, Maddie didn't deny it—she never was one to talk.

Maddie never really talked because she felt like she didn't need to. She would always agree to do whatever her mother told her to do. She would eat when her mother said so. So if her mother was drunk one night and passed out, she would just have to skip a meal. That was ok with her. Mother always did say that Maddie was gaining weight.

During school, she never saw the point of making friends. Being popular wasn't going to get her anywhere in life, so why bother? She tried her best to blend in, and earned her title as "wallflower queen". She wasn't great at school work though, because whenever she didn't understand something she just ignored it—causing her to fail multiple times. She had to repeat 10th grade.

She was ok with this though. She understood that she had to properly know the subjects to pass the grade, and she didn't know. She even took summer school—five times.

Her twin, however, skipped two grades, making him pass high school at the age of 16. He quickly moved out, started collage, and got a part time job. He was the exact opposite of Maddie—loud, outgoing, but most of all, successful. She loved her brother nonetheless, though. She knew it wasn't her fault that he was so smart and she was so… herself.

She finished packing and went into the living room, where her brother was sitting on the brown velvet couch aimlessly playing video games. She slightly smiled and went into the kitchen, grabbing an apple and biting into it. She left the kitchen and went back into her room, laying on the bed and falling asleep. She didn't dream that night.

The next day, when she woke up, blue eyes met hers. "Hey Maddie," the face whispered, making her move back a little. "Hey get ready. We're going to register you for school," her brother said louder. She forced herself to sit up and yawned. Looking over at her clock, she was a bit taken back when the red numbers read 1:47. She turned back to her brother who was currently rummaging through her clothes. She didn't care.

"Here, wear these clothes to make you look all nice," he said, throwing clothes at her face, "The school I'm registering you to is a privet school. They don't necessarily care about grades. They want clean cut, respectful kids." He left the room, letting her change. She put on the white slacks and red button up shirt—but it only made her sad. Of course he would just conveniently pick the colors of the Canadian flag.

She brushed her short hair and put it in twin low pony tails, sighing when she couldn't seem to get one hair to stay straight. She grabbed her glasses and black flats, leaving her room to find her brother (who was lazily lounging on the couch).

"You look great _Madeline_," Alfred complimented, dragging her name out. She just looked down and nodded. He got up from the couch and motioned her to leave with him. She exited the house and sat in the passenger side of her brother's blue pickup truck, noting that, although the outside was covered in muck and mud around the tires, was very tidy and clean.

"They'll try to ask you questions, but I'll tell them about your, uh, speaking problem. They shouldn't mind it, though. The less kids talking the better," he laughed. She smiled at his comment, knowing that he was trying to convince her that she would be accepted to the school, even though she was almost certain that she wasn't. She had good reasons to believe so:

She never talked, she had horrible grades, and she wasn't all that high class. Despite her reasons, though, she was accepted. It startled her when they gave a direct answer up front after fifteen minutes of the two men talking. She was given the student handbook and was told that her schedule was to be mailed to her in the future.

She left the school, stunned. But it wasn't all that hard to find out that the school was actually a high class school for the below average. She didn't mind though. She knew she wasn't good at school. She knew it was only right for her to go to a school like that.

A couple days later her schedule arrived and she looked it over, memorizing her locker number and combination, classes, and teachers (even though she knew that she would have to take the paper with her to school on the first day). Her and her brother bought the needed school supplies (which wasn't much) and some new clothes that followed the strict dress code. Finally, after the two weeks of waiting, school started—much to Maddie's despair.

The girl put on a white button up and light blue tie with black pants. On the required blue tie there was a pin with the school's initials. She did her hair in the usual ponytails and put on her shoes and glasses. Halfway out of her room, she was engulfed in a hug by her brother. "D-don't let any guys touch you, or provoke you," he cries, "And girls are backstabbers, so don't trust them. Try to make a friend, they'll help you with stuff. If you're afraid of not knowing what your voice will sound like, write on a piece of paper. Smile and be nice!"

He rambles on and on, until he notices he's been talking for five minutes. Much to Madeline's relief, he shuts up and lets her grab her backpack. She walks outside and to the bus stop, where a few people already are waiting. Two girls and a boy look over at the girl. They're all wearing a light blue tie.

"Sorella, look! Another girl! Maybe she'll want to be friends~" the girl with long, light auburn hair in a ponytail squeals. The other girl—with equally as long, dark auburn hair sighs, "Don't say that to everyone you meet. People will think that you're weird." "It's not weird to be friendly to people, Lovi," the boy says. The girl with dark hair blushes. "Stop calling me that!" she spits at him.

"Ve~ hello stranger! What's your name?" the happier twin asks. Maddie looks down and shrinks. She was already singled out. "Si! What is your name?" the Spaniard asks. She fiddles with her fingers and tries to shrink even more. "Ay, give her some space," the girl named "Lovi" says, "She's probably freakin out. I would too if a crazy Italian and Spaniard came rushin to me and askin questions." She turned to the frightened girl, "Stay away from these two if you want to survive."

Maddie looked up, confused, but as usual, didn't say anything. The bus came and she climbed in, sitting alone—that is, until a figure sat next to her. She slowly turned her head to see a boy that was talking (loudly) to another boy in the seat in front of him. He had white hair and red eyes. She wondered how he ever passed the school dress code with those features. He glanced over at her and noticed her staring. He smiled.

"Hey I'm Gilbert," he says with a cocky tone. "Gilbert, school hasn't even started yet and you're already terrorizing innocent girls?" The blonde boy in front of him sighs. "I only introduced myself _Ludwig_," he snaps back. "You were about to say how 'awesome' something irrelevant was. Probably your hair or eyes. Then you were going to explain that you're an albino. Then you were going to hit on her. Then you were going to get rejected," he said bluntly. Gilbert glared at the other boy, "Just because you're smarter than me doesn't mean you have to be rude, bruder." She decided to ignore the two German brothers from that point on.

The bus was very loud. 'Lovi' was screaming at the Spanish boy, who's name was Antonio, for him to stop touching her (and looking at her). Her twin, who's name is Felicia, was talking to Ludwig. A boy from France was yelling at a British guy about "having no sense in fashion." It was pure chaos.

Maddie felt a hand shake her. She looked over to the albino boy. "I never got your name," he says with a stupid smile. She just looked down and shrugged. He was taken back, "You don't have a name? Ok, I'm going to call you Birdie then." She looks up at him and shakes her head with a confused expression. Great. She made a friend.

And he was weird.


	2. Their Reasons

"Hey, Birdie," the annoying albino says to Maddie. She turns to him with an exhausted and annoyed look. "You don't talk much. Is that why you're going to this school?" he asks, cocking his head to the side. She just shrugs. "Oh, I'm going to this school because I cause too much 'trouble' and shit. My brother, Ludwig, he's actually really smart. But my parents make him go to whatever school I go to because they wanna make sure I'm not doing drugs."

"Again," Ludwig coughs, adding to his brother's sentence, "Gilbert was in the bad crowd." The German glares at his brother, "Whatever."

He turns over to the back of the bus. "That's Lovina. She's probably one of the most violent girls in the school. Her sister, Felicia, is the complete opposite of her. They're both awesome at painting and crap, though. Lovina got in so many fights that she was kicked out of school. Felicia is kind of a ditz and failed. And that's Antonio. He's one of my best friends. He's actually pretty smart, but since Lovina and I were going to this school he failed purposely."

He turns back to the front. "Over there is my other friend, Francis. He's bi and like's the Brit, Arthur. He was expelled for 'sexual harassment' but the girl didn't press charges because she kind of had a crush on him. Arthur already finished school, but he works here as a volunteer. He's 20 I think."

"And that over there is Kiku and Chun. Kiku doesn't talk very much and no one knows why he's here, and Chun is always baking things and asking people to try them. She's kind of weird. I think she's here because she chose to. Chun kind of has a crush on Ivan. He's the really tall guy sitting alone in the back. He's creepy… I heard that he smashed a kid's head in with a pipe and this is the only school that'll accept him. "

Madeline rolls her eyes and looks out the window, trying to ignore what he's saying. He was being awfully annoying to her. Couldn't he see that she wanted to be left alone? Apparently not because he was still here, talking. "That's all the kids I know on this bus," Gilbert says, looking around, "But there are a lot more on the other buses." _Oh, what joy_,Maddie thinks, slumping down in her seat.

The bus comes to a stop and the kids slowly get off one by one (with the exception of Francis and Arthur, who fought to get off first). The Canadian trudged to her locker and opened it quietly, shoving her red backpack inside the crammed space. Grabbing her English book(s), notebook, and pencil case, she closed the locker, looking over to find another girl with short blonde hair looking at her. "Hi!" she says in a bubbly voice, "We are going to be like, totally best friends because we're locker buddies! We can gossip and talk and have no personal space between each other whatsoever!" She smiles and flips her hair, "My name is Feliks." _Whoa, whoa, WHAO. This person is a GUY?!_ Maddie screamed in her head, _Why is he wearing a skirt?!_"

"Feliks! Why are you wearing a girl's uniform?!" a boy with brown hair yelled in a hushed voice, quickly walking over to them. The blonde turned around and smiled. "Oh, hey Toris!" he sings, "Don't I look cute~?" The other boy, Toris, blushes, "You shouldn't be wearing that!" Feliks cocks his head to the side, "But I shave my legs! It's totally ok!" The brunette's face turns a deeper red, "F-Feliks! Don't go yelling things like that!"

And that was when Maddie snuck away to her classroom. She turned to the board where "Choose a seat" was written. The Canadian sighs and chooses a seat in the far left hand side of the room, away from most people. She held her breath when she saw a certain albino walk in. Sinking down in her seat as far as she could; she tried to hide from the German as much as she could.

Right when she thought she was safe, he turned to her and his idiotic smirk shone brightly on his face. She sat up and face planted her desk, almost groaning in despair. _Almost_. Maddie put on a fake smile and turned to him, who was now sitting in the desk to her right. "Lucky I got here early or you would've had to sit by someone weird and obnoxious," he whispers to her, making her face plant her desk again.

The teacher walked in silently. He has long blonde hair and blue eyes. He strangely reminds me of Ludwig, only older. A little girl with short blonde hair and darker blue eyes—who is wearing all black followed. She only looked like she was 6 or 7.

"That's my uncle and niece," the Albino whispers to Madeline, "My uncle is pretty cool, but daughter is a control freak." The little girl shoots Gilbert a glare as if she heard him. She speaks in a foreign language she doesn't understand. I turn back to Gilbert, who is looking down, mumbling to himself and trying to hide is red face.

For the rest of the day she kept a low profile, as usual. During lunch Maddie sat in a bathroom stall to eat. It was pretty disgusting, but worth it if she didn't have to see any of the 'friends' she met. She silently walked to her bus, trying to get a seat with a less annoying kid, only to fail. After looking for a seat, she settled in the far, far back. She didn't notice until after she sat down, that Lovina and Antonio were sitting in the seat next to her.

"Why do you always sit next to me, bastard?!" Lovi screamed at him. He only smiled, "Because you are my tomato." "I am NOT yours!" She yells back with a scowl. He pulls his into a hug, making her scowl turn a bright red. "You will be~" he sings. She smiles at the two the turn back around, facing forward. Maddie pulls out her phone and reads a book from an app. Next thing she knows, she feels someone sitting by her. She could only assume it was Gilbert.

She turns to the figure and—what do you know—Gilbert's sitting there, talking to Antonio. She silently sighs and looks back at her phone. "Hey, Birdie," Gilbert says, nudging her. She turns to him with a tired look. "Antonio said that Alfred is your brother. That's so cool! You're living with him now right?" She stares at him for a second before nodding. "That's seriously awesome! I'll see you later tonight, then! Your brother always throws the best parties!" he says, before turning back to Antonio.

That's when Madeline starts freaking out. _Alfred… throws parties?! With PEOPLE and everything?_ She screams in her mind. The bus stops at the first stop. She sits there silently as the two Germans plus some other people get off. "Bye Birdie!" He laughs getting off.

_The weirdo is coming to my house. PEOPLE are coming to my house. For a PARTY._

**A/N – I'm so sorry for taking so long! D: Anyways, I intend on writing more and getting the chapters out sooner. This was kind of just filler I realize now. Anyways, the teacher was Germania and fem!HRE. I didn't know who to put. And yes, I do believe that Germany is secretly HRE, but I saw a picture of fem!HRE and it all went downhill. Anyways, thank you all for your support! Your reviews and follows mean so much to me! And it makes me happy when you compliment my grammar and spelling because I'm like, a grammar Nazi. Except in the real world where I can't spell for shit. Anyways, I took **_**cosplaytheif**_**'s advice and added why most people we're in the school. The people I didn't list either are on a different bus or go to the privet school (such as Sealand, Belarus, and Ukraine). Thank you for reading!**

*****OMG thank you, Birdiepie for pointing out my change of POV. Dx **

**~DinoChao**


	3. Cut Cut Cut

I look at myself in the mirror.

_Fat. Ugly. No wonder no one ever wants to do stuff with you. No wonder you have two friends at are social outcasts. No wonder people call you emo when they barely know you._

"Stop. That's not it at all. They just don't have time to see me, and my friends are great."

_You're so pathetic. You HURT yourself. You don't even feel it. You just watch as the blood comes out. Why are you doing it? Is it because you hate yourself?_

"S-shut up!" I say, glaring at myself in the mirror, looking more hurt than mad.

_You used to say that you "only scratched yourself until you broke skin. It wasn't cutting. It was perfectly ok." Well what are you gonna do now? You used dull scissors until you got fed up that they wouldn't do shit. You broke a pencil sharpener blade. Admit it. You're a cutter._

I stare at the mirror, thinking about what my mind had told me.

_And you need help._

"I don't need help! I don't want help! I fine, ok?!" I scream at the mirror, slamming my hands on the granite counter. "I don't need fucking therapists trying to get in my head! My head is a dark and disturbing fuckin place! If I let anyone in, it'll destroy me! They'll _change_ me!"

_You should do it. Just do it already. Cut yourself. Right there on your thigh. Like you did last time. And the time before that. Right next to your giant scratch mark. _

"FINE I WILL!" I tell myself, getting out an SD card holder where two small, small blades are. I take one out and pull my pants down slightly, slashing the skin.

_You don't even feel it. It's like rubbing nothing on your skin then seeing blood. _

At this point, my red eyes are glossy. "Why can't I feel?" I say, giving up and staring down at the lines.

A knock on the door snapped me back to reality. "Bruder, we're leaving for the party in 10 minutes. Hurry up," Ludwig says form the other side. I pull my pants up and wipe my eyes. Putting the blade in the memory card holder and shoving it in my jacket pocket, I walk out.

"It doesn't take that long to change clothes," Ludwig says skeptically, "And are you seriously wearing that girly pony shirt?" I smirk, "You're just jealous because I like Rainbow Dash more than you!" And with that, I walk into my room, slamming the door. I look at myself in my mirror.

I'm wearing half black, half bright blue skinny jeans, My Rainbow-Stash shirt, various bracelets—Gorillaz, Blink 182, Hello Kitty, Slipknot, Let's get Weird, and Aperture Science—with Gorillaz converse. All bought at the one store that worships me when I walk in—Hot Topic.

_Too bad you're a cutter and no one loves you—heck, even LIKES you._

I sigh and get in my blue pickup truck. When Ludwig gets in, I turn on the radio and out blasts The Used. What a surprise. My bruder was scared senseless. Laughing like an idiot, I pull out of the driveway and towards Alfred's—and Birdie's—house. I pull up to the curb. Looks like a few people are already here.

I knock on the door and Alfred answers it. "Have you accepted Rainbow Dash as your lord and savior?" I ask seriously. He shakes his head, "Sorry, I'm already a faithful follower of Pinkie Pie." We both laugh, leaving Ludwig standing there awkwardly. Alfred invites us in and we just plain out start talking to random people—well, I was chatting it up with some ladies. But then, I saw Maddie standing in the doorway of what I'm assuming is her bedroom door. She must've seen me, because her eye widened and she slammed the door shut.

I'm little interested in seeing what my Birdie is doing, I walk on over to the door. Mustering up the best American accent I can, I knock on the door and ask, "Have you seen my Fluttershy plushie?" The door opens and Birdie shakes her head, but then she sees it's me and tries to slam the door again. Too bad my foot is in the way.

I walk into her room and she silently sighs. "Nice room," I say, looking around. She's wearing her pajamas already; white tank top and red shorts with white maple leaves. How cute. "I like your PJ's," I say a little too awkwardly. She crosses her arms and looks down. I see a Sum 41 poster and smirk. "Birdie's a punk, is she now?" I ask playfully. She rolls her eyes before pointing to the maple leaf on the corner of the poster.

"Any Sum 41 fan knows they're from Canada," I reply to her gesture, "I mean, duh. Oh, wait, you're from Canada, right?" She nods and smiles slightly. "That's cool," I say, turning back to her posters. Three Days Grace? Green Day? Damn, this girl had good taste in music.

"You have good taste in music," I comment, "Better than that modern crap. I mean, some of the songs are good, but most of them…" I make a disgusted face and sits on her bed. I look down and notice a small blood stain seeping through my pants. So small that no one would notice it. Fortunately, it was on the side of my pants that were black, so that made it even more unnoticeable. I let out a small sigh and stare at it.

_You really are pathetic, aren't you?_

"No I'm not. Stop calling me that," I blurt out loud. Snapping my head up with eyes full of terror at Maddie. She's staring at me with sad violet eyes. It makes me want to just… hug her.

And hold her.

And tell her that things will get better for the both of us.

That once day she'll be able to talk.

And me…

Well, at least when I'm gone everyone will be happy.

**A/N – These chapter keep on getting shorter and shorter. Next chapter will in fact, be longer. I absolutely loved writing this chapter. I felt like I was secretly giving out secrets about my life. Heh. Anyways, thank you for reading!**

**~DinoChao**


	4. Speak

I open my eyes and stare up at the ceiling. It's been a couple days since Gilbert had been here. Everything had been mostly normal. I succeeded in keeping my identity low for the most part. The crazy German had been giving me attention and making me meet everyone, but as always I am forgotten the next few minutes. I sneak away and continue doing work in class, and everything returns to normal.

I can't help but think that there's a reason that he's constantly talking to me. Well, not CONSTANTLY, but at least once a day he tries to get me to say something—anything. He always greets me and waits for me to say something. He stands there with his stupid smile, and I just stare at him and watch it slowly fade until I get bored and walk away. I don't like him much I think. He's getting in the way.

He's getting in _my_ way.

Anyways, I just ignore him and keep my walls up. No one will know about me. No one NEEDS to know. I am my own independent person that doesn't need friends. All they do is backstab people and tell everyone their personal secrets. They gossip and… and… I just don't want to get mixed up with that.

I sit up in bed and stretch. I slowly get out of bed and walk into the living room. Sure enough my brother is playing video games. He looks at me and smiles. "Good afternoon Maddie," he smiles, pausing his game and looking at me. My eyes widen as I look at the time. 12:56. I blink a couple of times and then relax when I realize it's Saturday. A faint smile crosses my face as I turn around and go into the kitchen.

I take a small breakfast bar and head to the bathroom, eating it as I turn on a scalding hot shower. I swallow the rest of the food and strip my clothes, putting them down the laundry chute. I step in the shower and hiss in pain as the water hits my skin. It burned, but at the same time it was soothing. I hear the door bell ring. It's probably one of Alfred's friend or something. I wash my hair and use an extra amount of conditioner, just because I can. I quickly shave and turn off the shower.

Stepping out on the tile floor, my head snaps to the door where I hear an obnoxious voice. "Wow, why is the bathroom so steamy?" I froze for a second like a deer in headlights. Then our eyes met, 10 feet apart, but both of us were wide eyed and red. That's when he snapped his head back and slammed the door shut.

I grab a towel and quickly walk into my room across the hall, blushing still. This time I make sure my door is locked. I turn around and nearly jump out of my skin. Why? Why was he always there when I didn't want him to be (which was all the time)?

He turns around from looking at my posters again, and snaps his head down. "I'm usually not this shy. I'm… got good around girls. Only guys," he says, clenching his teeth noticeably. Wait. Did he just... Is he… Was he _gay_?

For a second I felt my heart drop in the pit of my stomach. My eyes soften and I look down. Wait, what am I thinking? Why am I disappointed? Why—"I go both ways," he says awkwardly, "Just saying. I don't need a rumor going around that I'm gay. Heh, but… you don't really talk much so I don't have to worry, right Birdie?"

I don't know what to think. My mouth is open and I'm looking at him, searching for an answer that would be suitable (obviously through body language, which of course is hard with me only having a towel on). "I mean, we're friends and friends don't do those kinds of things, right?" He looks up at me and smiles sadly, "We ARE friends, right?"

F-friends? But friends are distractions and they'll let me down. But if what he says is true then I don't have a reason to be silent… So I guess…

"Right," I say, my stomach turning in different directions. I feel like puking. My heart feels like it shot up into my throat. He quickly stood up and stared at me, his eyes wide. Then that stupid half smile-half smirk comes on his face and he looks really happy and… Maybe I feel happy too.

That's when I realize I'm still practically naked and I whisper yell, "Now get out! Get out! Get out! Get out!" "Are you sure I can't just stay?" He asks as I push him out and slam the door in his face. I can practically feel my brother glaring at Gilbert, eyes hungry for answers.

I walk out of my bedroom with my now dry hair (thank you hair dryer), make up on, and clothes on (thank the lord). I don't know why, but something drove me to wear my long teal hoodie, a white skirt, KNEE SOCKS, and (dare I say) black heels. I have my thick glasses on and my hair is down. I don't know why, but I felt like I had to impress someone. That, or dress like I was celebrating my first friend and/or speaking for the first time in years.

Gilbert was sitting in the living room playing with Alfred's dogs. He turns to me from the couch and smiles, picking up the grey Italian Greyhound. "I'm guessing this is yours?" I shake my head. "That's Alfred's. His name is Tony," I say, surprised that my voice has changed so much. "Kuma is mine," I add with a nod. He cocks his head a furrows his eyebrows. "He's around here somewhere. Probably eating or sleeping," I reply quietly, looking down and fidgeting with my skirt. Maybe I should've worn something more modest…

"Oh, uh," He coughs, "Well you look nice." He turns back to the dog and starts casually playing and petting it. I slightly blush and smile. Just then my brother walks in from his room. "Oh, hey Maddie," he says smiling, "You're wearing a skirt? That's weird, even for you. Nah, I'm just kidding! You look adorable. Strange that we're the same age and you look so much younger than me. Like a little 12 year old!" He smiles and flops back on the couch, grabbing the controller and playing his game again.

I stare at him, confused for a second, and then his words sink in. Do I really look like a little kid? Do I look like a kid that's trying too hard to look like an adult? Because I was just trying to look nice for Gi—

I inhale sharply and turn on my heel back into my room. I can hear Gilbert jump over the couch and walk quickly towards me. I run into my room and slam my door shut, locking it and turning to my mirror. I stare at my features, turning my face to see in different angels. All I was wearing was concealer and eye makeup (eyeliner, mascara, and white eye shadow). I furrow my eyebrows and glare at myself.

Ignoring the pounding on the door and a certain voice asking me what's wrong, I open my make up bag and take out an eyeliner sharpener. Taking a screw driver next to my bed (I was renovating my room because it was too plain) I quickly unscrew the bigger one that I'll never use at stare at it in my hand.

Maybe I shouldn't do this. Too much is going on as it is… But then again… I slowly, yet deeply drag the cold metal across my forearm. I hear a click and the door opens. Gilbert is staring at me. I expected him to be surprised and run to me, smacking the metal out of my hand and hugging me, telling me that I was 'perfect' and 'beautiful'. But instead, he did the opposite.

He just stared at me with a blank face, "Don't cut too deep. Don't get addicted. Just… Don't end up like me." He turns and leaves without another word. I sit there, staring at my wrist that's cut shallowly. I throw the blade in my makeup bag and pull my hoodie over my cut. I'll wash it later. I run out my door and look around. Damn. He's gone.

That's when it hit me.

Gilbert cuts.

Gilbert's depressed.

Gilbert never told me why he came here in the first place.

**A/N – GAH I'm sooo sorry this took so long ;A; It makes me feel guilty and I'm going to write another chapter really soon. Yeah so a lot happens in this chapter just to make it up to you people. Sorry if it sucks. I have writers block. Anyways, I'll answer any questions about the story, too. I'm open to ideas also (I already have the plot in my head, though. So it can interfere with that c;). Don't forget to review! Even if it's something very short and crap, it really makes my day! Thank you! Tata~**


	5. She was Only Eleven

Monday came slowly and painfully for me. Each minute thoughts of the German past my mind, asking myself if he had actually confessed to me that he cut himself. My brother asked me what was up when he ran out the door, me following. Then he asked why I had a cut on my arm. I lied and told him that I tripped in my room and fell. Like an idiot he believed it. I haven't cut since then. I even threw away the razor, but with a price.

Assuming that Gilbert isn't my friend anymore, I have no reason to speak. My brother tries to communicate with me but I just sit there and look down, like I did before.

When Monday finally came, however, it was much different than usual. Toris, who is usually a worried downer, was very scattered and excited. He mentioned something about one of his friends coming to the school again after so long. I'll have to find out later.

I was putting my backpack in my locker and shut it with a sigh. It was 20 minutes before class started (Alfred decided to drive me for whatever reason today), and I didn't want to have to carry around my books for that long. I turn to the front end of the hallway, and everyone seems to grow silent. They're all staring at something-someone. They even part to make way for her.

The girl has chest length dirty blond hair and blue eyes that appear to be almost purple. She shakes heavily and wears dark, heavy eye makeup. Her makeup looks like it was new put over an old layer. She had been crying. Her mascara was running and left grey streaks down her pale cheeks. She obviously has a spray tan than she's been trying to wash off. And part of her chin is caked in cover up.

Probably to hide a bruise of some sort.

Her lips have bright pink lip gloss on that was applied in a hurry over red lipstick. She wears long sleeves and a short, short skirt that I'm sure is against the dress code, and 6 inch heels. The required tie is neatly and tightly around her neck, strangely. Her hands are thin and boney with bright red nail polish that had been chipped away.

She walked down the hall clumsily, trying to shrink and hide away from everyone's pitiful stares and frowns. She stumbled over to Toris who smiled at her normally as she tried to wipe away some of her running makeup, only to smear it.

Her shaking seemed to tone down as she softly spoke with him. Feliks came over with a huge smile and started talking to her too. A small smile shakes its way on her face, but she shrinks down and winces when Ivan walks past them.

I can hear Toris trying to calm her down and telling her that even though Ivan is creepy, he won't hurt her. She whimpers and says something along the line of "I don't like tall and big men." Feliks looks over to me and smiles brightly, motioning me over.

I comply and walk to them and slightly smile to be polite. The girl smells like a mix of cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, and perfume. "This is, like, Maddie. She's totally my locker buddy! She's really nice and pretty, so that's why I talk to her. We have a lot of classes together, but whenever I go to sit by her, that weird kid always, like, takes my seat. But it's ok because Toris is in some classes with me and likes to sit with me. Right Liet?" He turns to the brunette and bats his (fake) eyelashes.

Toris gulps and nods with a forced smile. It's not that he doesn't like Feliks. Feliks can just be a handful sometimes. "R-right. This is my friend I was talking about, Madeline. Her name is Aija. She just got…" he gulps and thinks over his words, "Back from Latvia."

I nod and hold my hand out to shake it. She stares at it for a second and cocks her head. "S-sorry I don't have anything to g-give you," she takes a step behind her friend. I put my hand down, wanting to tell her that that's not what I wanted. I only nod.

Feliks grabs my arm and smiles, well we only have 15 minutes before class and we have to get our books and stuff. See you around!" He yells before pulling us back in the direction of our lockers. When we get there, he pushes me in the general direction of my locker.

"So, you wanna know her REAL story?" He asks me while doing the lock on the metal door. He doesn't wait for me to answer. "That was one of Liet's old best friends, but when she was 11, she went missing. Apparently, she went into the sex trade and ended up in Latvia. She's in rehab now because they hyped her up on drugs like heroin and LSD and other stuff so she wouldn't struggle when she had customers. About 3 months ago, the sex house was discovered and all the girls were rescued."

My eyes widen when I hear this and begin to open my locker. "After four years, she finally came back. She's still used to the same routine of getting ready everyday for her 'job', so she still dresses and puts on her makeup like she usually does, but always in a hurry so her parents don't see. Every night she has night terrors and nightmares that always make her cry. She wears long sleeves because there's bruises and scars from where she would get drug injections and where customers hurt her."

He grabs his books and closes his locker, while I do the same. He pitifully glances in the direction of the said ex-sex slave.

"She used to be so pretty and innocent looking. She was really happy and outgoing. Now she's like a completely different girl. She shakes constantly from her body not used to having so much drugs and she's very shy and afraid of everyone. Especially tall and large men. The therapists and doctors say she'll never be the same ever again. That's why they sent her to this school. To see if she could get better with all the other people like her."

I blink and look at him, confused. "What do you mean 'people like her'?" I ask out of curiosity. He looks surprised at me. "You talk?" he asks. I roll my eyes and repeat the question. He lets out a single laugh.

"Don't you know what this school is for?" He asks me. "For the under average kids. Right?" I reply quietly. He looks at me strange and shakes his head.

"It's… for different people. Like me. And You. And Aija. And even people like Gilbert."

…Wait, he knows about him?

"This school is for the mentally ill."

**A/N – Heeeey. It's me :D. Anyways, sorry I haven't updated in a while. But I wanna talk about something real quick.**

**A lot of people seem to have a Beta. I know that that's a person that edits and checks grammar and stuff, and I want one :D. I mean, I already have like nearly perfect grammar and spelling (thank you MS word xD) But there are times where it doesn't tell me when I made a mistake. And plus, my Beta can also help me with ideas and stuff :D. So if you are interested in being my Beta/Creative Buddy, then just PM message me and we can see.**

**Obviously, if you don't have an account or are not on much (I'm on EVERY day for at least 2 hours at a time at night xD), then please don't message me :c. Also, you will get credited for some of the work too X3. Every professional writer has a Beta and I don't have one so please help D:**

**BTW I have no idea how Beta's work so please help me out on that xD Do I just like copy and paste the document to my Beta or what? xD Thanks for tolerating my ignorance. Anyways, tootles~**

**~DinoChao**


	6. Rage

My brain seemed to have shut down at this point. Without thinking, I dropped my books and whipped around, running for the door. A teacher tried to stop me, locking an iron-tight grip around my wrist, making me flinch as my cuts were brushed I instinctively struggled, screaming for them to let me go; two more teachers ran to grab me and held me. By this time, I had burst into tears and whimpered for them to let me out, out of this… This asylum. I tried to tell them that I didn't belong here, and that it was all a mistake. Frantically, I looked around for someone to assure them that I was fine.

"Gilbert!" I caterwauled at the top of my lungs. I looked around for him, hoping that he'd come out and rescue me, bring me out of this nightmare. I sat there struggling and crying; why did I not scream Alfred? Why did I…?

"G-Gilbert!" The name choked out of my mouth as he strolled through the door with his brother. He was smiling and laughing, but when he glanced up, his smile dropped along with his backpack, which was hanging on one shoulder.

In an instant, I noticed that the teachers were replaced with people that looked like they belonged in a hospital. My hair was probably a mess and my face was felt red and blotchy. He sprinted towards me, however, one of the teachers that held me before stepped into his path.

He instantly kicked him in the groin.

He pushed past the students circling me and the nurses; yelling at them to back off, but they paid no attention to him, pushing him back into the throng of nosy students.

"Gilbert! Tell them I'm f-fine!" I yelled, reaching out for him past the nurses. Everyone fled when a nurse came; pushing a cart down the hall. She looked entirely calm and—oh my God, were those needles?  
Blood running cold, I snapped my head back to the albino, pleading for him to tell them something, anything. The nurse is here, and tears flooding my face, I tried to reach out to Gilbert again. He took one of my hands and nodded.

"It'll be ok, Birdie." I watched with wide eyes as he passed the shaking hand to the nurse.

That's when he betrayed me.

"N-no, nononono," I whimpered as the nurse slipped the silvery needle into my arm. I hissed at the pain, and I could feel myself fading in and out of consciousness.

The last thing I saw was the self-proclaimed Prussian, smiling and giving me a hopeful thumbs up; I know that he's masking what he wants to really say. I can see it in his eyes. Then, I see nothing.

~*~

I wake up in a mint green room. I move my head, and the crinkle of paper wrapping the flat, brick-like pillow hit my ears. Slowly, I sit up, looking around; the room is dark and quiet. A camera in the corner of the room proves to me that I'm being watched. I get up from the bed, walking over to the door. It's locked.

"H-hello?" I call out tentatively, hoping that someone will hear me. No answer. I go to another door and open it, revealing a rubbing-alcohol scented bathroom, but it's the bare minimum. They made sure there was no possible way you could hurt or kill yourself there, I close the door and look for a light switch.

Finding it, I flick it on, blinking a couple of times before taking in my surroundings. A plain mattress on the ground is covered in mint-green sheets and a white blanket. The camera is built in the wall, making sure that no one can reach it. A trash bin with no plastic bag is in the corner of the room. That's all.

There is nothing, nothing I can use to escape; nothing I can use to kill myself—wait. I'm not suicidal. What the hell am I thinking?

Why did I—?

The door opens, and I'm engulfed in a hug. I'm assuming it's my brother. Great. Now he can worry about me. I see another figure walk into the room sheepishly, as if they felt guilty. Gilbert.

"I was so worried, Maddie! When I got the call that you were distressed, I left campus and came here right away and—" Alfred lets go of me, his rambling discontinued. I ignored him, pushing him out of the way, glaring at Gilbert, who slowly brought his red eyes up to me.

"You didn't help me," I said plainly, keeping a blank expression. "You didn't tell them that I didn't belong here; in this kind of place," I continued, taking a step towards him. "You never told me this was basically a mental hospital," I say, now whisper yelling.

"I thought you already knew, gosh," he says simply, looking down and away while shoving his hands into his pockets.

"You said that people can choose to go here, you said that people failed school and had to come here!" I snap, narrowing my eyes.

"They choose to come here because they feel like they need the help," He snarled in response, not looking me in the eye, "And they all failed school because they were either in the hospital so much from trying to commit suicide that they never got work, or because they couldn't concentrate because of their depression!"

My eyes widen, and I take two wobbly steps back, my mouth covered, failing to prevent the gasp from slipping out of me. I shook my head in utter horror, turning to my brother for some kind of explanation. He looked down.

"I-I thought mom told you about it," he whispers.

"I mean, really though," Gilbert started to speak again, making me whip my head to him with watery eyes.

"What kind of idiot doesn't notice that this is a special school?" My hands fell and my mouth hung open. "Seriously," he scoffed, "Did you not notice that the teachers are overly cheerful and shit? Or how about everyone having some sort of problem? The nurses, too. You seriously didn't see them patrolling the school? And that's why we don't have sports here, either. Because someone could get hurt." I feel some sort of blend of horror and terror blooming in my chest, but I shove it down harshly.

"You should be happy that someone cares enough about you that they'd send you here," With that finish, I squeak and tears roll down my face. "Maddie, I know you're probably—"

"Get out," I snarl, cutting him off.

"W-what?" he stutters. I turn to him and yell.

"I said get out!" I grab him and push him out, crying. I lock the door and sob, laying down on the clean bed. I hold the paper pillow to my chest. But then, the sadness is replaced with something else…

Rage.

**A/N – Blaaaaaaaaaaaah. This chapter sucks ass and is totally OOC. But whatever, whatever get's me moving along I guess. Eh…  
ALSO. I have a beta now :D ain't that awesome?! Si, si it is. She's totally chill and crap. Her screen name is Chi-Chan11 and she makes totally awesome stories too so I DEMAND YOU ALL TO LOOK HER UP. IF she has any notes she wants to put down, she can. Instead of putting 'A/N' in front of her note like I do, she'll put "B/N" for Beta Note. Not to be confused with 'Bitch Nigga" xD Thank you Urban Dictionary.  
So, yeah. I'M OUT. **

**~DinoChao**

**B/N- Hey! This is Chi-Chan! Well I don't have much to say, except that I'm happy to be doing beta work for DinoChao, I hope everyone enjoys my editing!**

**~Chi-Chan11**


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